


A Seemingly Impossible Threesome

by DarkCornerFiction



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Speaks French (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor and Angel has a suite (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor fucks himself, Allosexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, And Mischievous, Angel Dust is adorable, Angel Dust says daddy (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust speaks Italian, Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Awkwardness, BUT ONLY ONCE, Bed-Wetting, Blushing, Cute, Demon piss has no smell, Ejaculate, Embarrassed Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Erections, Everyone Is Gay, Fetish, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Flustered Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Frottage, Gay Sex, Gentle Sex, Groping, Hazpiss, Hazpiss Hotel, Horniness, Horny Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Horny Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Hot, Hotel Sex, Hotels, I'll add it anyway, Kinks, Kinky, Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Multiverse, Naughty, Omorashi, Penises, Pissy Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Pissy Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Playful Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyamorous Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Polyamorous Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Porn, Precum, Selfcest, Sex, Sexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Shyness, Smut, Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Some comedy at the end, Tentacle Dick, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Urination, Vaggie be like fuck this shit I'm out, Vaggie doesn't wanna know about the pee (Hazbin Hotel), Vaggie is So Done (Hazbin Hotel), Warm, Watersports, Weirdness, alastor is not asexual in this fic, as in inside butt, at least in the beginning, during penetration, during sex that is, funny ending, or not quite but since that's what some people look up to find piss kink, peeing inside, pissy, so imagine their surprise when that doesn't apply to the human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkCornerFiction/pseuds/DarkCornerFiction
Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust runs into... another Alastor?As the human sees Angel, he gets feelings he can't explain.What better way to work those feelings than getting into a nice ol threesome with your demon counterpart and Angel himself?Smut, some piss in the middle of the fic, nothing too extreme however, it's pretty mild for what it is.
Relationships: Alastor & Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust/Human Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust/Human Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	A Seemingly Impossible Threesome

**Author's Note:**

> This was... a lot of hecking fun!  
> It turned out cuter than I expected it to honestly xD  
> I imagined Human Alastor just kinda looked like that one design that's everywhere on the internet.

"So, this is hell and... you are me but also not me?" Human Alastor questioned as he looked towards the much taller than him deer man.  
"Yep, and that over there, is my dear Angel~" Alastor purred as he looked towards Angel Dust.  
"Oooooh... he's so.. pretty..." Human Alastor blushed as he spotted the cute pink spotted white spider.  
"He's my husband~" Alastor purred deeper.  
"Ohhhh..." the human blushed deeper as he kept looking at the fluffy creature, so beautiful...  
That was the moment when Angel Dust turned his face and looked him in the eyes.  
  
"A... a human... down here in hell? It... it can't be..." Angel blushed, for reasons he would not yet understand, this human reminded him of his mate.  
Human Alastor approached Angel, still blushing as he watched him.  
"Hi, I... uhh... how do I make this not weird... I'm Alastor..." Human Al smiled faintly at the demon.  
"A... Alastor... Alastor human... how is this even possible? Or is it a different Alastor... you just seem so... familiar... in a weird way..." Angel blushed more.  
"I am him... but as a human, basically, I haven't died yet... how this is possible... the multiverse allows a lot of things dear~" Human Alastor smiled as he explained this, he couldn't stop blushing at this pretty creature that was in front of him.  
"Oh... I'm... oh wow..." Angel's heart was beating faster now, a bright red blush now all over his face.  
  
The spider looked towards the Demonic Alastor, and he just nodded, he knew what Angel had in mind, the look alone exposed his thoughts, and he wholeheartedly approved.  
"Do... do you want to like... have... sex..." Angel said, his heart now beating so fast he could barely speak.  
The human's heart-rate was increasing too, especially as he heard those words.  
"I..." he looked back at the other Alastor.  
"Will he allow it?..." at this point, he was trembling and breathing heavily, clearly anticipating something.  
He even squeezed his legs together to try and hide his ever so visible arousal.  
  
"Yes, of course he will, I'm a prostitute, and we're poly-amorous either way!" Angel laughed.  
Demonic Alastor nodded.  
"Yep, I wouldn't mind joining this, but let's see of feisty you two are first~" the deer demon purred as he walked towards the bedroom part of the suite.  
The other two followed, Angel more eagerly and Human Alastor shivering with nervousness.  
Angel smiled as he sat down on the bed, giving the human "that" look, Al didn't think he could blush more but he felt his face get warmer and redder, proving him otherwise.  
  
"Sit dear, I will assist you~" Angel purred, the human simply nodded as Angel felt for his heart.  
"Wow... that's a really high heart-rate... you must be so horny... or scared..." Angel said, looking him in the eyes.  
"I... I'm just nervous... although... something is throbbing at my lower regions yes..." Human Alastor admitted, and that pressure was starting to bother him, making him squirm and squeeze his legs tightly.  
Angel chuckled.  
"I can see that, how about we get rid of these clothes eh?" he says, Al nods nervously.  
"It rather does hurt..." Human Alastor says.  
"You can like, take mine off if you wish too..." Angel smiled, Al simply nodded again, blushing as much as was possible for a human being.  
  
"I... I'm a virgin..." the human suddenly mentioned, this made Angel chuckle again.  
"Aww don't worry, I'll take good care of you sweetie, both me and Al know what we're doing~" Angel purred as he reached for Alastor's top, slowly unbuttoning it and kissing him on his neck, making him twitch more as he felt some shivers go down his spine.  
As Angel unbuttoned the last button and pulled it off he licked the human's neck, making him visibly twitch.  
"Aww, adorable~" The spider purred as he then removed his undershirt, once his chest was exposed, he began to pant.  
  
Angel touched his chest and then his bulge, he was warm, very warm, and his bulge twitched a bit upon the touch.  
"I... I need it..." Human Alastor let out a moan as Angel groped his bulge, making him yank his legs with pleasure and need.  
His need was growing and he was getting warmer by the second.  
"You're so... warm..." Angel smiled as he felt his chest one last time with a nuzzle before tugging at his pants.  
"Mon Ange~" Al purred, not even realizing the slight bit of French slipping out as he grabbed Angel's long shirt and started pulling it up.  
The spider shivered as his shirt soon was off, letting the human see his markings.  
His eyes got especially stuck on the heart on Angel's chest.  
  
"S... so pretty...~" he said, smiling wide as he couldn't help but to touch the fluff, it was soft, yet it kept it's shape when being fluffed around.  
"So this is what we become when we die huh... and me... a deer... I'm almost longing for it now~" Alastor nuzzled Angel's fluff.  
The Demonic Alastor was watching them the whole time, smiling as he felt his own heartbeat raise much like his human counterpart's.  
Angel chuckled as he started to pull Human Alastor's pants down, and once he got them off, he just tossed them to the side into the pile of clothes.  
He once again groped his crotch gently, and it was SOAKED.  
"Oh wow... you weren't kidding when you said you were horny... so much precum...~" Angel laughed a bit as his cock twitched at the touch.  
  
He got to Angel's shorts and started pulling them down, but was startled to find that Angel did not have a normal dick, no, he had a tentacle down there!  
"A... Angel... that... does it... hurt?" he asked, looking down at the tentadick.  
"Nono, it's not longer than it looks or anything like that, this is it's full length, try touching it sweetie~" Angel smiled, Al nodded and pulled his hand out, grabbing it and rubbing it lightly.  
"It's warm... and kinda wet..." Human Alastor mentioned, it didn't really feel weird, just different, but what he noticed was that the tentacle eagerly curled around his finger, in a way, he kinda found it cute.  
  
"That's cute Angel~" he smiled wider, it just felt so... right...  
Angel moaned lightly as Al let go off his length, some natural lubrication dripping down from it.  
"The curling means it wants attention, the tip will naturally hook unto anything coming near it when I'm horny" the spider smiled as he explained this.  
Finally, Angel pulled the human's underwear down, tossing it aside.  
Al's cock was dripping with precum and just the slight touch of his underwear being removed made him moan.  
Human Alastor couldn't help himself, he had to pull Angel in for a hug, he was so so soft... soft and fluffy...  
  
"Mon chérie~" he purred, nuzzling Angel's shoulder.  
He could feel Angel's tentacle dick wrap around his own, making him twitch and moan a bit.  
"It feels so... good..." the human's smile grew wider as he felt the warmth of it embrace his nether regions.  
"Mmm~" Angel moaned, yanking his body slightly as an involuntary attempt to thrust.  
Meanwhile Demonic Alastor was still watching the two, he couldn't help but to chuckle at his human counterpart's reaction to Angel's cock.  
  
"Push me down push me down!" The spider chuckled, wanting the human to be on top of him.  
Al nodded, and pushed him down on the bed, Angel's cock still wrapped around his own.  
The movement made Angel moan, panting as he got more desperate.  
Alastor began to thrust lightly, it did not take a lot of pressure to make this feel good, given that it was literally wrapping around his genitals.  
"Ah... daddy~" Angel panted more, the grip his genitals had tightening upon the thrusting.  
  
Demonic Alastor could not longer help himself as he got up from his chair, stripping down to nothing and grinning at the two as he soon sat on the bed next to them.  
His human counterpart eyed him and noticed the scar markings on his body.  
"That's so... exotic..." the human purred, now thrusting a little faster.  
Angel had a smug look on his face.  
"You know, Angel he is, he kind of has some slightly... exotic tastes~..." Alastor mentioned as he watched the two, putting a hand on his own dick and slowly rubbing it to the view.  
"Oh what do you me- OH!" Human Alastor got slightly startled as he felt a warm stream of SOMETHING go over his cock, he was not prepared, but it didn't feel bad either, and reached slightly above his crotch too, unto his lower belly.  
"Why does that feel good and... oh... oh holy... shit... that's piss isn't it?..." Human Alastor had to ask as he realized the stream wasn't ending any time soon.  
"Yeeeep" Angel blepped happily at the relief.  
"Oh you... you are NAUGHTY!" Al laughed.  
  
"And if that's what you want, then thy shall receive!" he laughed more as he attempted to relieve himself, however, given the fact that he most certainly wasn't used to peeing in this situation, it didn't exactly work...  
"Oh for fucks sake..." Al groaned.  
"What? Can't piss whilst fucking?" Angel laughed.  
"I... I'm trying just... ugh..." the human groaned with frustration as he tried relaxing his lower abdomen a bit.  
"Take your time Al" the spider laughed.  
Al was getting embarrassed as the two laughed at his unfortunately slow attempt.  
  
"A... Almost..." he pushed a bit, doing this with an erection was easier said than done, but eventually he got it, and sighed deeply as his piss began splashing out of his dick and unto Angel's cock and lower belly.  
Angel purred at the warmth and blepped once more.  
Human Alastor soon got startled however as his demon variant got up behind him mid relief, he could feel the deer's cock throb against him, and he got startled enough to release everything that remained at once.  
"Aw dammit I was having fun with that..." Human Alastor said with disappointment.  
  
Alastor laughed at that as he hugged him from behind.  
His human counterpart shivered at that, especially once he felt Al's cock throb at his opening.  
"Ah... Al~" Human Alastor moaned, admittedly, it felt a bit weird to moan his own name at someone, but at the same time, it felt so right.  
Angel grinned, still below the human with his dick in a tight wrap.  
Something Human Alastor noticed was that whilst his pee would go cold relatively fast, Angel's would remain warm to the touch.  
All of this made him long even more to become a demon himself.  
  
Alastor pushed his cock into his human counterpart, making him moan and pant.  
"Oooooooh~~~" Al squirmed at the demon cock now inside of him.  
Al's cock, however, was much like his own, although slightly bigger and bulkier.  
The thrusts moved him forward, which made Angel moan as he once again got some friction going on his tentadick.  
"Ah~" Angel pushed his fingers into Human Al's back, moaning again as the friction got stronger with the faster, deeper thrusts Demonic Alastor was doing.  
"I... I'm getting close..." the human moaned, his cock throbbing at all the attention he was getting on both ends.  
"S... same... I was already getting there when I went to the bed" the deer groaned and moaned.  
  
Human Alastor could then feel something warm inside of him, something coming from Alastor.  
"Ohhh... so you're both into iiiiit~~~" the human blepped, he couldn't help but to smile happily as he felt the warmth inside of him soon leak out down his butt and legs.  
And with that, he came, and so did Angel, their cocks twitching and shooting out a warm, white load unto each-other and the bed.  
"Ahhhh, Comme c'est bon! Je jouis! " Human Alastor squealed, this feeling was unlike anything he had ever felt before.  
Soon, his demon counterpart finished inside of him and pulled out, panting and collapsing next to the other two.  
"Ti Amo Alastor!~" Angel squealed, still cumming as the human rolled off him and smiled wide with satisfaction.  
Human Alastor pulled them both into a cuddle and sighed happily.  
"That... was a very different way to loose my virginity... but it was so... good...~" he said.  
Angel nodded and chuckled.  
  
"Sorry if I startled you with my little kink there~" the spider winked at him.  
"Nono, that was super nice actually, hence why I wanted to give it back to you!" the human laughed.  
"But you know what?" Angel mentioned, sniffing the air slightly.  
"Yeah?" Human Alastor questioned.  
"I forgot just how BAD human piss smells! The bed reeks!" Angel laughed.  
Human Al blushed, completely red in the face like a tomato.  
"S... Sorry dear..." he covered his face in embarrassment.  
"Nono it's alright sweetheart, I'll tolerate it just fine, no worries, so will Al, right bud?" Angel patted his back to try and cheer him up.  
  
Demonic Alastor nodded.  
"I don't mind, sure, I don't love it but hey, it was worth it" Alastor laughed, booping his human counterpart on the nose.  
"Aww thank you dearie~" he chuckled and licked Angel on the face, making him laugh as he nuzzled his face back in response.  
"We'll handle the bed tomorrow... don't worry about it" the demonic deer commented.  
The other two nodded.  
"If anything, this whole thing has made me long to be a demon, I wanna be like him!" Human Alastor said, turning to Alastor.  
"And that you will, on the day you die~" Alastor replied.  
The three soon fell asleep in a cuddle, nice and comfortable with each other.  
  
 **Bonus!**  
"Ok I could of sworn I saw another-" Vaggie got startled as she bumped straight into Alastor's human counterpart.  
"Alastor..." she finished.  
The human turned to her, with Alastor and Angel behind him.  
"Yes that's my name" he said, grinning wide at her.  
"Two Alastors... Angel what did you DO!? It's enough to have ONE guy pissing around the hotel!" Vaggie questioned and commented.  
"Me? Oh no that was not me, he comes from what would be considered the multiverse, and we are having fun with this~" Angel grinned proudly.  
"Please tell me he's at least not into wetting..." Vaggie groaned.  
"Oh he wasn't... but after the night we had, he sure is now!" Angel chuckled, showing just how proud he was of the situation.  
Vaggie looked over the human to note that his pants were indeed slightly stained.  
"Never mind... I give up, you guys, do what you want cause I'm out, I'm done, fuck this shit I'm OUT!" Vaggie then walked away in frustration, Vaggie was, simply put, SO DONE!


End file.
